How to Divorce a Narcissist
Divorce is an inherently challenging process. Divorcing a narcissist makes this process that much more difficult. However, it is possible to divorce a narcissist in a timely manner with minimal drama. Let’s take a quick look at some tips that will help you divorce a narcissist in as peaceful and quick a manner as possible.
Document the Narcissist’s Transgressions
Obtaining favorable divorce terms will prove much easier if you have evidence or at least written documentation of the narcissist’s transgressions. If you have not started documenting the narcissist’s wrongdoings, start doing so now. Write down everything he or she does that is immoral, self-centered, and illegal. Print out and make copies of abusive and mean-spirited emails, text messages, and other forms of communication. Even evidence that makes it clear the narcissist lies about promised contributions to the relationship, such as picking up the kids from soccer practice, will bolster your divorce case.
Above all, it is important that you keep records of your spouse’s expenditures, especially if they are made with a credit card or bank debit card that is mutually held. It will prove much more difficult for the narcissist to claim you are responsible for the expenses or that no such expenses exist if you maintain detailed records for presentation in court.
Consider Meeting With a Therapist
There is no shame in speaking with a therapist. After all, interacting with a narcissist will eventually take its toll on you. A therapist will help you cope during this experience and possibly even preserve your sanity until the divorce process is complete. In fact, there are even some therapists who have extensive experience working with those who have narcissistic personality disorder. This professional will provide you with the strategies you need to divorce such a self-centered person.
Focus on Self-care
Divorce will take some time. If you are not careful, you will fall into a deep depression as you attempt to divorce the narcissist and achieve a fair outcome. It is easy to overlook self-care during this period of time. Go out of your way to eat the proper food, get a good night’s sleep, and exercise regularly. Speak with friends and family for support during this difficult time, and you won’t feel nearly as lonely. Be sure to carve out some time to enjoy life, whether it is with a nightly bubble bath, watching a comedy movie, or simply listening to your favorite music.
Find a Divorce Attorney Worth His or Her Keep
Divorcing a narcissist is not the type of challenge you should take on yourself. Lean on an experienced divorce attorney during this difficult period of time, and you will find the entire process is that much easier. Your attorney will handle all the legal challenges while you square your focus on self-improvement, caring for your kids, and remaining gainfully employed.
Minimize the Drama as Much as Possible
It is no secret that narcissists love drama. From verbal arguments to court hearings and beyond, narcissists seek out every opportunity to prove they are right and make a big deal about it. Do your part to minimize the drama and divorcing the narcissist in your life will go that much smoother. Resist the temptation to engage in arguments. Do your best to minimize court appearances. Do not do anything that would require the assistance of the police. Maintain your focus on the overarching goal of a divorce — to open a new chapter of your life — and you will make it to the finish line with as little drama as possible.
Let Your Attorney Know Your Spouse Is a Narcissist
Attorneys are not mind readers. Make it perfectly clear to your divorce attorney that your spouse is a narcissist. This information will help your attorney prepare your case, develop a legal strategy, and finalize the divorce in a timely and civil manner. In fact, making your attorney aware of your spouse’s narcissistic behaviors might even help this legal professional obtain better divorce terms, such as full child custody.
Don’t Take the Narcissist’s Criticisms Personally
The narcissist in your life will undoubtedly insult you and verbally attack you throughout the divorce process. This individual is projecting his or her own flaws onto you during this difficult time. Do not expend any time or energy thinking about these insults. It won’t be long until you are officially divorced, meaning you will soon be able to transition to a fresh start.
Are you considering divorce? If you are thinking about separating from your spouse, if you have already decided to divorce, or if you have another family law matter, the legal team at Setzer Law Firm is here to help. Reach out to our Colleyville office today at 817-424-5050 or by filling outour online contact form, and we will be in touch at our earliest convenience.