One of the reasons some unhappy Dallas-Fort Worth couples stay married may be because there’s no telling how a spouse will respond to hearing bad news. Divorce isn’t a snap decision for most spouses. Most individuals think long and hard about ending a marriage before the word “divorce” enters spousal discussion.
Once the contemplating is over, your spouse needs to hear how you feel. Some spouses aren’t all that surprised to learn a marriage is about to end, but some spouses are blindsided by divorce announcements. You probably can sense a spouse’s awareness about serious marital turmoil.
How and where you choose to tell a spouse about a divorce can be as important as what you have to say. If you have children, make sure they’re cared for elsewhere when this talk takes place. Eliminate interferences and make sure you have adequate time to discuss the divorce.
Hold off on the divorce discussion if there’s some other significant life event occurring at the same time. It wouldn’t be a good idea to share these plans with a flu victim any more than it would be appropriate to ask for a divorce on a holiday.
Even within a planned environment, your biggest concern probably is “How will he or she react?” You want to be clear about your intentions while avoiding as much unnecessary pain and hurt as possible. Truthfully, your spouse’s response is likely to be flooded with all sorts of emotions including some that may be hard to handle.
Try to remember you’re the one who has had time to get used to the idea of divorce and planned what you wanted to say. Do your best to empathize. A family law attorney also would suggest waiting for another time to talk about big topics like property division, custody and support matters — preferably after you’ve had time to speak with a lawyer.
Source: The Huffington Post, “The Best Way to Ask Your Spouse for a Divorce,” Cheryl and Joe Dillon, May. 22, 2015